So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
