you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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