she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
