I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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