how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
