I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
