i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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