no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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