why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
