Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
