I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
