I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
