did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
