Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
