Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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