just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
