Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The beers last night were like the tears from god
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He? As in you personified your dick?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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