i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
