I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
