I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
They are going to name an STD after you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
