look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
