i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
they need to just BURY HIM!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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