So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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