I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
