I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
