Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
