I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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