she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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