we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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