I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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