Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This girl is more easily done than said...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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