Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wanna passion pit in your ass
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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