im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
