Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
