Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize