I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize