yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
