if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There's even glitter on my cock...
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