So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize