Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
