I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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