Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
