Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
