the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
