the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize