She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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