She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
