I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize