I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Boobs speak an international language.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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