Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
