so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize