We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
