How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
