i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
