mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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