Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
