Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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