remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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