we have pet lesbian snakes
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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