i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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