turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize