what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
