Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
