just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
