Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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