i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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