Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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