Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
