He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
