apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
