...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
