Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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