Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize