I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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