i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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