Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
