One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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