Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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